Scientists have recently shed light on the reason Malaria is so damn spreadable by mosquitoes. It involves a quick lesson about the birds and bees, or better, how these evil insects do the wild monkey dance. And no, we will not spare you the juicy details.
When daddy mosquito loves mommy mosquito very much, he flies close to her and sprays his spunk all over her with his mosquito penis. You know, like one does. At one point, it seems, male mosquitoes evolved a little trick. They mixed their spunk with steroids to make a steroid spunk goo.
When sprayed on the mommy mosquito, the spunk does its business and the steroids prevent any other male mosquito from becoming the daddy. After a few million years of this great new trick of spraying drugs on ladies, the mommy mosquitoes got wise to the plan.
The females evolved a counter chemical to the steroid spunk. Oddly enough, this counter chemical also helps with the transmission of Malaria to humans. If this detailed and scientific explanation wasn’t awesome enough for you, you can always read the original here.
So there you have it kids, the selfishness of male mosquitoes spiking their spunk with drugs caused Malaria. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to shower with boiling water and burn my clothes.